Mattesturbator™ - DIY Label Experiment

As an infant baby-child, did you dream of one day designing your own ManGlaze® bottle label? Now you can do just that and, you may save a few bucks in the process.

This is an experiment that we've wanted to do for a long time. If it's cool, we'll keep doing it. If it sucks, it'll go away.

If you are interested in designing your own bottle art, first send us an email at mail(at) We'll provide you with a template and go over some of the finer points, logo/legal requirements, best practices and work with you to make sure it's kick ass.

Because we're offering a deal on these, we have to limit the availability to one design per color and we reserve the right to disapprove of artwork for any reason but especially if it's half assed or could get us arrested. 

NOTE: Please do not add this item to your cart until we make sure your art is ready to print.


We've closed up shop in efforts to help flatten the curve. We figure that our ManGlaze isn't essential to the cause and those delivering food, masks and such will need less of a burden. As soon as things normalize we'll be back with a big dumb #covidisgone sale.

Feel free to look around. You'll notice that all the prices are stupid high. We're not price gouging. The point is just to keep anyone from ordering since we can't easily turn off the store without taking a search hit.

Stay home if you can and stay safe. TTYS!
Canadian addicts can now shop us here at!

NOTE: Customers in Alaska, Hawaii or Puerto Rico - Please contact us before ordering. Special handling charges apply for air shipments.