Mayonnaise - White

White Matte Nail Polish

This is the matte white we've promised you. We initially intended this as a combo with our Hot Mess (FishDicks & Mayonnaise). But we took a year to make it work right solo. Fellas, we always encourage you to find some sweet little honey to paint your nails. IMO this stuff takes a skilled hand (better than mine, which ain't saying much) and we suggest a good base coat for this one. When I have the stuff on, I am a Storm Trooper. Leave it on for a few weeks for that weathered shitastic look. 'Tangy Zip' art by Joe Simko!
  • White Matte Nail Polish, with super tiny mica sparkly shit that makes it look way awesome, 11 ML. 0.37 FL. OZ.
  • Our Original Tough, Fast-Drying, Manly Matte Finish 
  • Formulated for Ugliness
  • Big 3 Toxin Free & Cruelty Free
  • NOTE: Please look at PICS before you buy. No refunds for missed color expectations.

Matte Nails Polish


We've closed up shop in efforts to help flatten the curve. We figure that our ManGlaze isn't essential to the cause and those delivering food, masks and such will need less of a burden. As soon as things normalize we'll be back with a big dumb #covidisgone sale.

Feel free to look around. You'll notice that all the prices are stupid high. We're not price gouging. The point is just to keep anyone from ordering since we can't easily turn off the store without taking a search hit.

Stay home if you can and stay safe. TTYS!
Canadian addicts can now shop us here at!

NOTE: Customers in Alaska, Hawaii or Puerto Rico - Please contact us before ordering. Special handling charges apply for air shipments.